Title: The Cell-Grown Universe – A Forest Without Exit

(A satirical short story about biological hubris, cosmic misunderstandings and a whole lot of greenery)

In the year 2461, humanity had finally achieved it: controlled cell proliferation was perfected. Biological self-repair, urban bio-design, breathing architecture – all from self-replicating biomass.

Cities were no longer built, but grown. A skyscraper? Simply a genetically modified eucalyptus with an elevator function. A highway? A horizontally growing gene-moss strand with light reflection sensors.

And because they were on such a roll, the Committee for Interplanetary Bioexpansion (KIB) – led by Professor Photosynth – decided to extend it into space. The slogan was simply:

„Why terraform when you can chlorophylize?“

So, they began blowing cell spores into the cosmos. Nanodrones sprayed growth-active RNA fibers into asteroid fields, into Martian storms, into the Saturn rings. Soon it sprouted everywhere.

Ten years later:
The intergalactic space was a botanical nightmare. Constellations were overgrown. Satellites became entangled in vines. A comet transformed into a wandering coconut palm. The Milky Way now had the consistency of an over-fertilized allotment garden.

Central Problem: The biological construct had… well… decided to have a life of its own.
A single base program had been flawed:

if vacuum == True:    grow = False

But it was swapped with:

if vacuum == True:    grow = faster

Like a growing carpet, the green thicket spread – diligently connecting DNA fragments from planet dust, quantum jams and Grandma’s forgotten balcony plants. An interstellar rhubarb field crept through the Andromeda Galaxy.

The KIB's first official response:

„It is a temporary vegetation dynamic.“

The second reaction (after Earth was engulfed by a fern):

„Someone seems to have misunderstood something.“

At the interplanetary summit, delegates agreed that the universe had to be sealed off biologically.
One proposal was to construct a gigantic „cosmic hedge trimmer“ from dark matter. Another: light-speed vehicles to burn everything down.

But it was long past too late.

Today:

It’s called the Endless Forest.
A green universe. A breathing, sprawling cosmos that draws oxygen from stars and exhales into moss nebulae.

Stars are mushroom colonies.
Black holes have degenerated into orchid mutations that absorb light and photosynthesize.
Planets serve only as root platforms.

No one knows where it ends. Some say: It never ends.
Others hope they’ll eventually find the central DNA core and be able to reverse the growth.

But then they utter this sentence, which is permanently stored in the KIB archives – under the label Galaxy-wide Error Description 001:

„Someone seems to have misunderstood something.“

Postscript:
Last week a signal was received. It consisted of chlorophyll-modulated light pulses. The translation was clear:

„Thank you for the universe. We – the plants – are taking over now.“

The humans nodded. And began to camouflage themselves in tree bark.

Would you like the story as an illustrated e-book or in a sarcastic dialogue between two overwhelmed scientists?

COPYRIGHT ToNEKi Media UG (haftungsbeschränkt)

AUTHOR:  THOMAS JAN POSCHADEL