Here comes the satirical reckoning with the **botched construction** and the mysteriously exploding costs - of course with a lot of tongue-in-cheek and construction site chaos. 🚧💸 

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### 1. **Planning phase:** 

*"Architect: *It'll be a maximum of €200,000!* 

Client: *And the reality?* 

First calculation: *'The plot is slightly sloping - we need 17 concrete pillars ... for the terrace.'* 🏗️📐"* 

### 2. **Creative material procurement:** 

*"*We actually wanted recycled bricks* ... but the supplier only has *gold-plated marble stones* from the *Neuschwanstein Castle renovation outlet*. Bargain hunters!”* 🧱👑 

### 3. **Collective bargaining agreement for breaks:** 

*“Bricklayer: *We work from 7 a.m. to 12 p.m. … and 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.* 

*But only if the coffee machine *doesn’t* spit out ‘floor wax’ instead of ‘espresso’.* ☕🔧”* 

### 4. **Surprise effect:** 

*“*How were we supposed to know* that there was a **subway tunnel** from 1945 under your garden? *Cost estimate for explosives: €50,000.* 🚇💣“* 

### 5. **Electrician logic:** 

*“*The power cables now run through your kitchen wall* … *why?* Because the boss’s dog once barked *Feng Shui*.”* 🐕⚡ 

### 6. **Static poetry:** 

*“*According to calculations, the roof can support 10 tons* … *but only if it never snows, rains or exists.* ❄️🏠“* 

### 7. **Sustainability bonus:** 

*“*We have replaced your expensive insulation with air and optimism* – *ecological and budget-friendly!* 🌬️💨“* 

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### **Bonus koans from the construction manager:** 

*“If a pipe leaks and no one hears it... *is it the homeowner's fault?*”* 🚰🔇 

**Disclaimer:** *Not all tradesmen are like that - some even dream of straight walls at night.* 😴📏 

Want a sequel? Maybe *“Why architects always wear a pencil behind their ear: The lost art of erasing”*? ✏️👷♂️