Here comes a dark, sarcastic comedy mix of **stalker logic**, **0 IQ romance** and toxic love - of course purely fictional and with eye-rolling humor. ๐๐
ย
---
ย
### 1. **Love letter 2.0**ย
*"He wrote her 87 messages... without a reply. His diagnosis: *'She's just testing my resolve!*' ๐ง ๐ซ*
ย
### 2. **Romantic surprise**ย
*"She blocked him everywhere. His reaction: *'Finally time to search her garbage for DNA!*' ๐๏ธ๐งฌ*
ย
### 3. **Relationship status: Creative**ย
*"According to the court order, he is only allowed to get within 300 meters... so he sends *a drone with a Valentine's heart*. Efficiency!* ๐๐
ย
### 4. **Social Media Love**ย
*โShe has *0 followers* โ perfect! Now he can *create* all 10 accounts sheโs stalking. Relationship building!* ๐ฅ๐
ย
### 5. **Future planning**ย
*โHe bought a wedding ringโฆ and a *GPS tracker*. Romance needs security!* ๐๐
ย
### 6. **Poetic confessions**ย
*โHis poem: *Roses are red, violets are blue, I know where you live, and your password is โ1234โ.* ๐๐*
ย
### 7. **Math of love**ย
*โHe loves her *โ x 0* โ that is, infinitely much, but with the mental capacity of a microwave.* โพ๏ธ๐ง
ย
---
ย
**Bonus comment from the โexโ:**ย
*โWhen he *googles* love, it says: *โSee also: claim of ownership, prison, therapy.โ*โ* ๐๐
ย
**Disclaimer:** *All purely fictional โ real love needs respect, not *Google Maps History*. ๐ฎโ๏ธโค๏ธ*
ย
Even more black humor? Or would you prefer something with *cats planning world domination*? ๐ฑ๐


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