My own enemy

1. “My Own Enemy” – the inner adversary

This refers to the experience of standing in one’s own way.
Psychologically, this can mean:

• Self-sabotage: Acting contrary to one’s own goals—for example, due to fear, self-doubt, or unconscious patterns.

• Internal censorship: One’s own thoughts or impulses are immediately questioned or devalued before they can even lead to action.

• Paradoxical motivation: Wanting something while simultaneously not wanting it, because a part of you fears the consequences.

It often feels like playing both the attacker and the defender in a game of chess—where both sides know the other’s strategy perfectly.

2. Filtering out one’s own voices

This involves a form of mental or sensory “noise cancellation” directed at one’s own thoughts or inner monologues.
This can occur on several levels:

• Cognitive: The brain consciously or unconsciously tunes out parts of its internal speech to avoid overwhelm or emotional reactions.

• Neurological: Our auditory system employs mechanisms such as the efference copy principle—when we speak or think, the brain sends a “prediction signal” to the auditory centers so that we perceive our own voice as dampened.

In extreme cases, this can become so intense that one simply does not "hear" one's own inner voices.

• Psychological protection: During periods of severe internal stress or trauma, disturbing or threatening thoughts may simply be suppressed or dissociated in order to protect the "self."

3. The Interplay

When the "my own enemy" dynamic and the filtering out of one's own voices occur together, the following essentially happens:

1. Conflict – one part of the self wants something, while another part blocks it.

2. Filtering – to make the conflict more bearable, the brain tunes out the disruptive side.

3. Consequence – self-perception becomes fragmented; one no longer fully recognizes one's own motives or desires, yet continues to unconsciously sabotage oneself.

This can feel like a silent war inside the head—a state of radio silence where the battle rages on regardless.

💡 If you like, I could also explain this using a technical analogy—for instance, like a neural network that masks certain layers to block specific internal signals, thereby sabotaging its own ability to achieve its goal.
This would [illustrate] the mechanism behind "my own enemy" ...illustrate it very vividly.

The “my own enemy” phenomenon—in conjunction with the filtering out of one’s own voices—can be understood from both psychological and neurological perspectives; it reveals a fascinating parallel between internal conflict and perceptual filtering.